Hoi An (Aug 2024): 10 Year Friendship Anniversary Trip

I've travelled with Van a couple of times since, but the one we always talked about was the one where we went to Ho Chi Minh City on a paid-for media junket. We stayed in a luxury hotel with floaty saltwater pool and checked out hipster places by using location tags on Instagram (this was in 2014, mind you, when you had to be beautiful enough to use IG). The trip is now immortalised in BK magazine.

Anyway, while planning our Hoi An trip we were tickled to learn that it's been exactly 10 years since our last Vietnam trip, and that we should do this every 10 years. Indeed, at the hotel, we kept bumping into 2 older Indian ladies, seemingly also on a besties pampering trip. We kept whispering "that's us in Phu Quoc in 2034" and breaking out in hysterical giggles.

Food in Vietnam is fascinating. Where else would you find a dish like banh xeo, a crispy fried paper-thin pancake stuffed with just-blanched bean sprouts, shredded cabbage, galangal and basil? Really enjoyed the crunch (deep fried) on crunch (raw veggies) combination. This one was from CHAY Corner.

As with our 2014 trip we spent a lot of time lazing about in the hotel (Little Hoi An) and ordering room service. The room service pho came with basil and sawtooth coriander from Tra Que Vegetable Village. Sadly didn't get to go to Tra Que but I think it would defo be worth a visit. 

The hotel breakfast buffet had a little corner with trad Vietnamese breakfast foods, which changed daily. I enjoyed cha bo (Da Nang style beef sausage, very sweet and peppery) and xoi a lot (mung bean and glutinous rice). In fact the low-carb diet completely collapsed in Vietnam, but I don't feel at all unhealthy. I pooped so much I think I actually lost weight .

We spent most of our time drinking coffee and shopping at Hoi An ancient town, which is basically a tourist shopping area with many clones of the same few shops. It's very pretty and filled with white people. Looks like this:

The merchants in Hoi An can be aggressive and some downright rude; I got cussed out by a clothing seller for turning down her fabulous offer of $5million dong (SGD $250) for an off-the-rack dress. Even so, that was shocking rather than offensive. So, I was stunned when I heard a white woman telling a Vietnamese street vendor loudly "we don't like you, go fuck yourself!" Oh my god. Please just stay home if you can't control your mouth.

I tried to understand the character of the Central Vietnamese hanging around the tourist district, and failed. Some were unfailingly polite and all sweet smiles whether or not you bought their wares. Others shot compliments like poison darts, waiting to close the deal with barely simmering impatience ("so nice, so beautiful, now give me that $300K"). 

Some lacked both English and basic social skills but you have to give them credit for trying nonetheless. Thinking of  the Grab drivers who tried to get us to hire them privately but quoted us higher-than-Grab fares. (???) And even after getting turned down they kept trying their luck clumsily ("my car is clean and new.")

An Bang beach, now that's an interesting place. We went there for lunch, and found it pretty much a Bali-style beach club with white people and moneyed Asians (Koreans and Chinese) lying on daybeds and sipping on flower-decorated coconuts and beachy cocktails. Lots of Mr Peanut Butters jumping around playing beach volleyball and making inane conversation that unfortunately the wind carries.

Around 4.30pm the air starts smelling different. We looked up and realised that the first of the grilled seafood stalls have arrived and started their fires. Curiously, they ignored all of us recumbent cash cows. Their signs were exclusively in Vietnamese and they did not hawk "Vietnamese pizza" like the sellouts in old town. Beach club staff discreetly folded up vacant daybeds, making way for young Vietnamese families, who prefer to sit on straw mats on the sand. 

As the sun set, the tourist crowd petered out while the locals came out to play. Second shift at An Bang beach! Made me realise there is an unspoken framework in place for locals and tourists to co-exist. Each has their own "lane" to stay in. Therefore, when you see locals in tourist zones, they are strictly in "work mode" to relieve tourists of their dong - not to hang out and make friends.

I think my desire to travel to pretty places has diminished over the years. I like my destinations bustling, businesslike and raw. I was happy in grubby cluttered busy Denpasar and walking along the riverside "slums" in Jogja. From what I glimpsed during my brief bike ride in Hoi An, the scooter- and popup stall-infested streets in the "local" part of town were infinitely more charming than the old town. 

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Bonus packing list!

• 3 dresses

• 1 tee + old boxers (to discard)

• 1 pair sports/swim shorts

• 1 spare sports/swim bra

• 1 pair spare socks

• 3 pairs undies (to discard)

• fold-up shopping bag

• toiletries: electric toothbrush, toothpaste, 3 floss picks, eyebrow pencil, moisturiser, cleansing balm

• snacks: tea, chocolate, sweets

• in my day bag: passport, phone, wallet, Kobo, charger & cable

I am happy with my current packing system for short trips. Filled up about half of this 24L backpack. Didn't weigh it but pretty sure all clocked in below 2kg. I threw away the old items and replaced with 3 pairs of cotton lounge shorts, a pair of fake Birkenstocks, and small amount of snacks.